clysmian: (pic#2752447)
Going to actually attempt making a more or less comprehensive list because I have nothing better to do with my time. Obviously, there are spoilers for both.

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clysmian: (pic#2752448)
Yesterday during my regularly scheduled meeting with the social worker, I've been told I've been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.

I think I was in a state of shock and denial and I was definitely really annoyed, and although I'm calm now, I still think it's pretty absurd. The first time someone suggested I was borderline and I looked up the criteria, I felt none of them fit me at all. I looked at them again yesterday and actually started recognizing myself, but I still think that I may only exhibit traits while not actually having a personality disorder of that type. Yes, I have a very negative self-image, I lose my temper easily (but I always get it under control just as quickly - it's an Aries thing), I avoid social interaction out of fear of rejection, I'm incredibly paranoid (due to my projecting my own self-loathing onto other people), and I have recurring suicidal thoughts... but those are common for a number of different personality and mood disorders, aren't they?

My self-image issues aren't a question of identity disturbance. I do sometimes react in an impulsive manner when I lose my cool, but I'm not impulsive in the sense the criteria for BPD describes (promiscuous sex, substance abuse, excessive spending, binge eating, reckless driving). I don't have chronic feelings of emptiness so much as feelings of apathy and lack of energy, and I certainly don't switch between extremes when it comes to my interpersonal relationships.

It probably didn't help that I mentioned two new instances of self-harm that happened recently; I'm pretty sure that must have influenced the test results quite heavily. I still think it's absurd that I could be diagnosed with something like that after filling out a question form and revised by a social worker who seems to be trying to convince me that I'm actually gay and is misconstruing a lot about mine and my parents' history as being tragic woobie pasts.

I just think something like avoidant personality disorder or a mood disorder would be a lot more fitting - not to say that I wish I had either of those, but they would certainly make a lot more sense than being borderline. Even people who ARE borderline tell me I don't fit the personality criteria at all.

I'm just growing more and more apprehensive of these meetings with her; even my father was really unimpressed with her.

Well, I have things to work on for school and now I'm once again wondering if I'll be able to finish them on time (at least the Illustrator assignment; writing dialogue for three scenes should be easy and fortunately this book is quite short and easy to read), but once again I can't be assed to work on them and instead am going to head downstairs to play video games. Ah, the life of a mentally ill artist hermit.
clysmian: (pic#)


29 Aries icons )

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clysmian: (Default)


SYMPHOGEAR x66
DIGITAL DEVIL SAGA x17 (all Sera)
WILD ARMS XF x13 (all Katrina)
LEGEND OF KORRA x15 (all Korra)
HOMESTUCK x12 (all Jane)

pbbbt )

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ALL SORA, ALL THE TIME )

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clysmian: (pic#2752454)


Reposting them from livejournal. This may have to be cut in several parts. )

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clysmian: (pic#2752480)


Again, the icons are out of order and span the entire series, so there are a lot of spoilers!

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clysmian: (Default)


The icons are out of order and span across the entire series so there are SPOILERS, so tread carefully!

Read more... )

Table from here.
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clysmian: (Default)
WELL I guess this is a thing, since nobody gives a shit about lj anymore.

I doubt I'll even get much use out of this at all besides museboxing and whatnot, if I even get to actually PLAY rather than just infodump.

On the other hand, I suppose this would be a good place to vent rather than more public venues like tumblr. That can get embarrassing fast, not to mention there's the constant threat of attention whore accusations.

Time to learn this shit, I suppose.
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